


I'll Be Good

by LackingALife



Category: fairytail - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Mental Illness, Modern AU, Racers, car crash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-03-28 13:42:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13905216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LackingALife/pseuds/LackingALife
Summary: Natsu had it all, he was a world famous racer, had a cute girlfriend he had always liked; Lucy and he was everything, everyone wanted to be.But one day things change and Natsu is forced into something he never wanted at the cost of his sanity. Secrets come out. Bloody ones.But Lucy will stick by him to the END.





	1. Alive?

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my second ever book, I have a tons of ideas for this, so I will take a while to update this. I want to explore every possible scene before sticking to one only. If you like this do show your support. Thank you.

Natsu grinned at the large camera fashioned in front of him. His face was projected onto a large board, and the cheers from the crowd roared their approval.

“Well, Dragneel, your eighteen, about to finish high school, and the most loved person ever to exist. How does it feel to be in the finals?” Said the plump smiley man, in the odd, ill-fitted suit. A microphone hovered by Natsu’s mouth, waiting for a reply.  
“What can I say?” He said shrugging his shoulders, “Like every other tournament finals, I guess! Terribly excited and nervous! Shout out to my girl, Lucy,” He winked, as a loud `Ooh la laa’ echoed across the stands. Lucy flushed a bright pink and Levy grabbed onto her arm squealing, in anticipation. A camera found Lucy in the mob and her face was magnified onto the board. Erza pulled Gray into the death-trap-hug, in warm proudness. Juvia glared jealously at the sight of such embrace between Scary Scarlet and Gray~Sama, her precious darling… so Erza pulled her into the hug as well.  
“Everyone’s pretty much welcomed me, like family, all the racers. I can honestly say, I wouldn’t mind being beaten by the legends that are on the road, today.” Natsu said seriously, though the playful smile still shone on his face like a beacon. Though Natsu’s modest words were appreciated, no one doubted for a second that he would lose. He hadn’t lost a single race since he started. That was what made him a Dragneel. His coach told him he was unbeatable. His school told him he was unbeatable. His friends told him he was unbeatable. Lucy told him he was unbeatable. And he knew it.  
A whirl of colourful flags rose in the air but the most popular were the familiar red of Natsu’s flag. The plump man moved over to another racer and Natsu was greeted by his coach, Guildarts.  
“Okay, kiddo, you remember, when you’re out there, your salamander. Your flash, flash, hundred metre dash.”  
Natsu raised his eyebrows, “Zootopia?”  
“The best film alive, kiddo!” Guildarts exclaimed, the atmosphere was catchy and soon enough Natsu laughed and roared his warrior cry.  
“Wait a sec… films aren’t alive…” He was drowned out, however, by the screams, and Guildarts? Guildarts just didn’t care, he was too excited for another big time race. Lucy would, Natsu thought sulkily. The crowd was so frantic that it looked as though everyone was going to fly away. Natsu jogged over to the other racers and shook hands, everyone smiled good-naturedly and wished him luck to which he yelled,  
“Bah! Luck? I don’t need it!” and they would reply “It’s all about luck, kid.”  
Slightly huffy from being called kid so many times, Natsu returned to his car, stationed to the far right. The gleaming red paint caught the sun and Natsu positively beamed, like the sun itself. His slight model was perfect, it was called `The Fire Dragon’, the fastest car alive. Except it wasn’t alive. Guildarts shook Natsu by the shoulders as Natsu’s wide grin widened, this was his favourite part. His heart pumped hard against his chest. Everything was perfect. He pushed on his helmet and the cries and noisy din was muffled out. Natsu could no longer hear the commentary, he could only hear his own breathing.  
“You can do this Natsu!” Lucy yelled, her seat was hand-picked by Natsu and she had a clear view of him. Levy started singing the Fairy-tail (their school) anthem and was soon joined by Jet and Droy. Erza released Gray and Juvia and Juvia entwined her arm around Gray’s to which Gray tried to ignore though his face was red. Erza jumped in the air pumping her arm in the air screaming till her voice went hoarse. Jellal sweat-dropped and wondered why he bothered came, Meledy and Ultear said it would be like a date – this was more like a barbaric gladiator sport in ancient roman times.  
FLASHBACK  
Jellal is shoved in the queue.  
Jellal is shoved when walking towards his seat.  
Jellal is shoved trying to get a hotdog.  
Jellal is shoved by a little girl and the mustard goes on his pants `area’.  
Jellal is shoved by a mean looking bunch of adults whim support a different racer. He has a sneaking suspicion it was caused by Erza’s Dragneel scarf that she had handed to him `to look the part’.  
Jellal is shoved into shoving Erza.  
Erza shoves him back.  
END OF FLASHBACK  
Jellal winced in pain at the memories and tried to enjoy the show.  
“Hey, um Erza, do you mind if I um, go home?” He asked giving up already.  
“Of course I do!” She boomed as Jellal cringed. “This is our date, isn’t it? You can’t just ditch!” She cried in fury. Just as suddenly, her face went red and she turned away.  
“A- a- a date?” Jellal whispered to himself. Meledy and Ultear were right! Gray slapped him on the back, “You did wel-” He was cut off by Elfman, “LIKE A REAL MAN, ON A REAL DATE!”  
Gray and Jellal sweat-dropped and Juvia squealed pointing at the barely dressed lady with a gun in her hand. She would signal the beginning of the race. All of Fairytail crossed their fingers (Well most of them, okay most of the guys didn’t. Mainly the girls. Still) and yelled their threats, the most popular ` Natsu, you had better win, or else I’ll pound you!’ (Well most of them, okay most of the girls didn’t. Mainly the boys. Still).  
Natsu clambered into his car, his head giddy with growing excitement. The flashing lights, flashed from red to yellow to… GREEN! A loud gunshot went off and the cars were zooming away!  
Speeding along the road, Natsu felt the butterflies leave him in a flurry, he was in his element. The man’s chattering commentating voice and the hurly-burly of the crowd was muted to the flying sensation of happiness. He was picking up speed, passing Zancrow’s car and Azuma’s car. Round and round Natsu went, the only competition, a plucky twenty-six year old named Vidaldus. With two more laps to go, Vidaldus slowly pushed Natsu to the edge of the road. Natsu swore angrily, trying not to skid of the road.  
“Vidaldus is stretching Dragneel’s patience and pushing him slowly down the road, if Vidaldus wins it’ll be a nasty blow to the Dragneel’s ego.”  
Lucy, Levy, Erza and Juvia clutched onto each other in fright. Gray swore loudly and was trying to yell at the spokesmen about foul play.  
“Gray, your clothes?” Cana said her eyes glued to the road, a bit of beer dripping onto her clothes in her anticipation. Gray swore again and Juvia told him to “SHUT UP, GRAY! LANGUAGE????” Pointing at Wendy angrily. Gray was surprised at this and also angry. Wendy was embarrassed and Gray was trying to apologise at the same time trying not to let Juvia know he agreed with her.  
“I said `crab’, I swear and then I said `ducking fell’” Wendy sweat-dropped and turned away as Romeo rolled his eyes.  
“YOUR SHIRT IS FLYING AWAY NOW, GRAY. URGH!” Cana yelled angrily.  
“Why are the ladies hating on me!” Gray cried trying to grab his white shirt that was flying down the stands.  
Suddenly Vidaldus released his tight lock on Natsu, it was the last lap and they were coming across a curvy bridge, Vidaldus was many things but that bridge was too dangerous. Natsu sped up as the remaining cars slowed down. It was-  
“-Suicidal fast! If Natsu gets this turning he’ll win!”  
Silence. Blank, utter silence. Smiles, screaming, everything died down. He was only eighteen. He was still a kid.

Natsu was racing faster because if he didn’t it would probably be a tie or worse, second place. The curving was too sharp. His speed was too high. For a second everything was still, the crowds had stopped screaming. Natsu’s car went up gave an odd twisting pirouette in the air and landed. Natsu wondered if this was what it felt like to be in a car crash, to lose. Don’t be silly, you are in a car crash, he scolded himself. Then there was nothing. Just inky blackness that erupted all around him. He could hear a scream. It broke his ears, the scream was less human, like an animal being tortured. Burning and smoke and then too much light. Light poured into the dark like a dam of light had just been released. Who was screaming? Why wouldn’t they stop? Then he realised, it was him who was screaming so inhumanely. Why couldn’t he stop screaming? He opened his eyes and felt himself. He was upside down. Large shards of glass poked at him, everywhere. There was no escaping the pain. He couldn’t move his legs. He was dying. He let out a sob as he saw a large fragment of glass going through his arm in an awkward position. He lifted his face from the glass covered roof of his car. Die. Die. Die. Echoed in his thoughts. Pain. Pain. Pain. Natsu’s bottom lipped trembled and he let out a whimper. His legs were twisted all wrongly. He couldn’t breathe in the billowing smoke. He couldn’t think in the after fire of his car. Please give me death, he begged, the pain finally became too much and he collapsed, bleeding face slamming back into the glass that littered the ceiling.

“Can we get the medics down there?”  
“He’s just a kid.”  
“I know, we really need the medics and firefighters,”  
“…”  
“And Vidaldus won,”  
Not a cheer, what so ever, even those supporting Vidaldus. Suddenly the crowd burst into action rushing, craning over and shoving to get to the track. Security pushed back against the mob of people milling down onto the race track. Erza threw herself at a bunch of security.  
“I’m sorry, you can’t go!”  
“Bloody hell, let me through!” Erza yelled back. More shoving.  
“No! That’s not allowed!” Their feeble excuses went ignored.  
“Well then, it’s time you change the rules!” Erza turned, her raging face calming, she smiled at Lucy and mouthed `go’. Lucy didn’t need telling twice. Like she had been electric shocked she sprinted past the crowd. She raced, ducked under the preoccupied security, a yell urged her back, Lucy ignored this and ran to the smoking car as fast as she could, Natsu’s ringing cry echoed in her head. She was pulled back by more security.  
“NO, LET ME GO!” She screamed in fury, bitter tears ran down her face as she tried to wiggle free. Cries of outrage danced across the place. Men in medical uniform came down other men with water buckets and fire extinguishers. Natsu’s body was being extracted. Lucy stretched her neck to see, but a white blanket was placed over him, he was too still. The blanket too white. He never liked white, said it was to plain. She was dragged away. She didn’t know but it would be another year until they met again, and he would be very different.


	2. Dead?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dark may make it hard to see  
> But  
> The Light can make you blind

Natsu stared out at the white poppies. They were everywhere. There was no escaping the white. His eyes stung from the brightness but Natsu continued to take in the scenery. Natsu had always hated white. Too blank. Too empty. Yet, there was something strangely calming about the white. You always get a fresh new start, as easy to do over as picking up a fresh sheet of paper. The white fluffy clouds were nice too, but otherwise the white was unnatural. Too bright and disruptive in colourful nature. Pulling off his shoes, Natsu tossed his flip flops to the side. His feet felt soft foamy soil, and his toes revelled in the earthliness of it all. Instead of polished marble beneath his feet he was where he belonged – in the mud. Clambering down awkwardly, Natsu was surprised at the dramatic change that occurred from this new point of view. Light shone through white petals, held up by green stems, dancing across the earth. Brown soil, filled with life, smelled amazing, still slightly moist from last night’s rain. Lifting his head from under the poppies, he flattened them and laid back down. Now, he could see the bright blue sky, clouds floated in harmony in the lovely blues. Natsu found jealousy within himself, he lacked what they had. Every cloud a ship he would never sail in. That sounded like poetry. He dug his nails into the earth as though rooting himself. Natsu tried clearing his mind, to fill every inch of himself with tranquillity. But he couldn’t. Whenever he closed his eyes he could see it, staring back at him.  
“Natsu?”  
Natsu opened one eye. He jerked up. Invel was looking over him with a watchful eye. Zeref by his side. Zeref wore a somewhat curious expression on his face, Invel impatience. Natsu got up clumsily, Zeref extending a hand and then quickly retracting it by Natsu’s stony expression. Natsu did not care to dust himself but turned to Zeref.  
“It’s time, I suppose?” Natsu asked. An awkward if not unsure silence settled. Natsu let his question hang in the air. He nodded his head, taking the quiet as a yes.  
“If you’re ready, that is to say…” Zeref said unsurely, trying but failing to make eye contact with Natsu. “Only if you’re ready… If you will be ready.”  
Natsu stared at the white poppies and thought if he were to see them once more, he would go mad.  
“When is the soonest time available?”  
Zeref sighed. Natsu ignored this and stuffed his hands into his pocket.  
“Please give me one last day,” Zeref said as though it were a question. He sounded tired and weary as though he had walked a great long journey. For a second, Natsu thought of staying. He was beginning to love his older brother. He didn’t want him to be alone. “Please?”  
Natsu turned away, stubborn on his chosen path. He would go when he was done packing. And not a second over. He couldn’t back down now. “I’ll go when I have finished my preparations.”  
Zeref sighed again, heart ache echoing in his voice, weighing down on his shoulders. His clothes ruffled a little, as he turned to head back to the white castle. Natsu, the inner him at least, yelled for Zeref to come back but he compressed it.  
“You were too disrespectful to Master Zeref.” Invel said pausing before leaving. “You Dragneels are strange. You love each other but hide it from the other so much.”  
Natsu pretended not to hear and instead studied his nails, soil was pushed up them from where Natsu had dug into the dirt.

 

*

 

Lucy smiled at her reflection. It was a new day. She slipped into a large sweater, black ripped jeans and her favourite puma. She clipped on her choker, tied up her hair into a side ponytail and picked up her messenger bag.  
“Bye Plue! I’ll be back soon, MUAH!”  
Lucy grinned and flung her bag around her. She was going to be early for her first day back to high school. She had been so prepared for this! Fist pumping the air, Lucy rushed outside. Swinging a leg over her bicycle, she kicked off, riding along the river outside her house.  
“Be careful, there Lucy!”  
“I will!”  
Lucy rode on, faster still, pressing her stomach low to her knees. Taking a sharp turn around the corner, the change of scenery whizzed past her eyes.  
“Paper, paper! Read all about it! Hey Lucy!” A little boy with brown sagging hair that flopped in his face and bright blue eyes waved a hand clutching a newspaper at Lucy. He wore a large grin, a Gatsby hat and was standing around a newsagent kiosk.  
“Hey, Aaron!” Lucy yelled, riding fast on past him. Lucy parked outside Fairytail, out of breath and with rosy red cheeks. Skidding to a halt, she chained her bicycle to a post. Hurrying inside the school, Lucy whipped her hair behind her back as she walked. She could see her friends waiting for her, smiling and ushering her closer. Then she stopped. Her breath was stolen from her. Lucy turned from her friends, much to their concern, and she headed to the oak trees planted by the founders of the school. Among the giant majestic trees that stretched to the sky, a familiar figure looked starry eyed to the heavens. Hands, squashed deep into his pockets, he appeared lost in thought. His light pink hair caught the wind, blowing slightly as though he was an angel. Lucy could not believe it. Her skin went pale. There was no one there but the two of them. The smoke from the crash seemed to waft away. Like the boy she so knew, a scarf adorned around his neck made Lucy pause, scared. This was a hallucination. A ghost. A dream. Because if Natsu had survived the crash he would’ve come back to her. He wouldn’t have been declared dead. H wouldn’t be standing before her in autumn’s glory. Lucy lost the ability to speak. The person in Natsu’s body turned to her, a frown forming on his lips. Lucy’s own lips quivered in fear. He opened his mouth.  
“ … ”


End file.
